Communication.
With the new technologies, communication is supposed to be easier, faster, more enjoyable. Bringing people together. Why does it feel like it has the exact opposite effect? Like too much facility communicating actually kills the relationships, increases the weight of silence and makes everything all way more complicated.
Maybe it's just me taking everything too closely, turning tiny irrelevant details into important causes. Or maybe I let my mood run me way too much. But sometimes it's too much. The same little things all over again, building up stress and annoyance, it has to explode at one moment. And when it shows, people may say "don't be pissed" or "don't get so bothered about it", it's too late. And there's no turning back. There's only an inner fight ahead, probably some time away from anything, more time to focus on myself. Look for answers to unasked questions and non-existing answers to obvious questions. There'll be guilt, ununderstanding, feeling of betrayal and all kinds of states to go through and then it'll be fine again.
And it'll all come full circle and start again. Because life is a never-ending repeating cycle. No matter how far you go into settling to a nice and cozy state of mind, something will come in the game, smash everything around and it'll show strike! on the scoreboard. So you'll work around it, again. And again. And again. You'll hope for change, improvement. It may work out, someday. You'll get in touch with people as before, like nothing ever happened. Enjoy the joys of new technologies, until you have to face the details that killed you in the past.
Maybe it's just me taking everything too closely, turning tiny irrelevant details into important causes. Or maybe I let my mood run me way too much. But sometimes it's too much. The same little things all over again, building up stress and annoyance, it has to explode at one moment. And when it shows, people may say "don't be pissed" or "don't get so bothered about it", it's too late. And there's no turning back. There's only an inner fight ahead, probably some time away from anything, more time to focus on myself. Look for answers to unasked questions and non-existing answers to obvious questions. There'll be guilt, ununderstanding, feeling of betrayal and all kinds of states to go through and then it'll be fine again.
And it'll all come full circle and start again. Because life is a never-ending repeating cycle. No matter how far you go into settling to a nice and cozy state of mind, something will come in the game, smash everything around and it'll show strike! on the scoreboard. So you'll work around it, again. And again. And again. You'll hope for change, improvement. It may work out, someday. You'll get in touch with people as before, like nothing ever happened. Enjoy the joys of new technologies, until you have to face the details that killed you in the past.
Never-ending.
I'm tired of all this and somehow I wish I didn't care.
[photo: my actual desktop; quote used on it from Ana Johnsson - We Are]
posted by silent_genius at 5:40 PM
2 Comments:
I like this entry.
You're so right.
Tu as raison... Trop de communication tue la communication!
Post a Comment
<< Home